


The love life of mr. death.

by ressonancee



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, but again - there is a death, heellllo - this is a work of fiction and it has fantasy elements, like it was inspired by goblin and hercules - lol i know, so if you dont like that that's ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:40:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27335083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ressonancee/pseuds/ressonancee
Summary: Donghyuck finally felt peace, because living between the dead and the living was easy, what was hard, what made it hard, was to think about Rejun without having his inside twisted in guilt.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan
Kudos: 2





	The love life of mr. death.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone, I dont know how to do this but if you are not comfortable reading things that envolves death/dying and sad stuff like that I advise you to jump to the next fic - I guess tw? tw/death? Again I dont know how this work

‘I am tired hyung’ Donghyuck grumbled, ‘can’t just… i don’t know… people just stopping dying for a day or two? I need a vacation’

‘I guess it could happen’ Johnny takes a sip of coffee. ‘In all my years in this work didn’t tho’ The older shrugged, and took a sip of coffee, while Hyuck signed and witnessed everything upside down, putting his feet in the sofa’s backboard

‘And like… what is the deal with the high ups? It’s summer! And it’s hot, all this black outfit thing isn’t helping if I am being totally honest with you.’ Donghyuck signed, being a deity was harder than all the books and human knowledge could let on. 

‘It goes with my aesthetic you know, I never asked’

‘Hyung that was because you were alive in the first wave of the gothic movement’ Hyuck finally got of the sofa, it wasn’t having the cooling effect he was after, he could do it like johnny, eat something cold or even drink, but he always ended up having stomach ache like he was still alive and didn’t die is his 19th birthday. He also had headaches when he tried to sleep, he guessed that it was payment for his sins; being dead but also very much alive, and years and years of sleep depravity. 

‘and i mean the first wave, like 16th century kind of stuff, not Evanescence kind of stuff’

‘I am not that old Donghyuck’ - but hyuck knew he was very much old and by old he meant pretty much ancient. 

‘You told me that you wrote hand letters to your fianceé hyung’

‘You still can write love letters Hyuck, it’s called being romantic and it is not confined in a century, i mean the gregorian calendar doesn’t even make that much sense’ 

‘Not with thou or thee’ Hyuck said because he had no idea of what the hell was the gregorian calendar. 

‘Well… you do have a point’ 

🌩

‘Hyung it hurts’ Donghyuck cried. 

He was fine with rain, he even liked the rain. One of the very few memories he has is the feeling of raindrops on his skin, little tiny droplets kissing his face, arms, body, leaving him wet and - what was that feeling? Hyuck tried to find it in the back of his mind

Maybe that is what everyone talked about, maybe that was happiness he guessed. 

But he loathed the thunders. He felt like it was going through his body, breaking him in pieces.

‘Why it hurts so much’ He asked while grabbing Johnny’s arms if his life depended on it - he laughed though the pain, he wasn't even alive how he was feeling such a pain - how, and why he was living in this very particular hell. 

‘I know, I know’ The older responded.

And did he do?   
And did he do to deserve such a punishment? 

  
🌩

Hyuck guided the soul through the forest; another faceless soul - like everyday a faceless soul.

‘You may now tell your sins’ He heard johnny’s voice through the pitch black underworld, past the forest of lost souls. Everyday, every single day he would hear stories about the souls lifes, and sons, and daughters. He would hear about the greatest loves and also about the hardest fails. 

And Hyuck would keep on wondering, if he -   
if when he was alive -   
His mind would keep going back and further - asking himself if he had a love that hurted in every bone of his body, or if that love hurted enough that he just felt hollow after it. 

🌩

‘Do you have your memories?’ Hyuck asked over the dinner when he still tried to eat like a normal person, he gave up six months later when he realized that maybe the whole Johnny’s thing of ‘life is great we are just dead but we are barely the same, see? I live as a human, I enjoy my coffee and I sleep so please don’t make any noise’ was bullshit. 

Hyuck knew they weren’t humans,  
first they talked with the dead,  
Second he talked with the dead while taking them in johnny’s nifty boat to the underworld.

But even tho he listened everybody that put a feet in the boat, the memories, the regrets, the sins Hyuck felt like his whole life was just empty, he couldn't remember a thing - he just remembered the rain. 

‘Memories?’ Johnny asked

‘Yes dude, like, like things that you did in your life’

‘Yes Hyuck I remember what I did yesterday’

‘Not like that hyung’ He scratched his head ‘Like before’

‘Oh’ Johnny finally put the cup of coffee down and Hyuck knew that he was finally listening ‘You don’t?’

‘No, not a single thing’ Hyuck answered.

  
🌩

Hyuck felt different.   
He felt like the faceless soul was just staring at him, he didn’t know how but, he just felt it. So deep. Like it was piercing though him. Like somehow it was burning the back of his skull. 

‘Rage, I think it was just-’ The Soul took a deep breath. ‘I think I was just angry that he left me, I was just angry that he left me in the world. I know it doesn’t even make sense’ - The Soul went on; ‘I just, I just feel like he left me behind, with the world so big and so vast to deal with. How could he, how could he leave me like that?’ 

Hyuck knew better than to open his mouth when a faceless soul was in the boat, Johnny explained to him that none of them were to speak in the path to the underworld - the dead needed the time to vent, and leave their sorrows in the deep deep blue sea.

‘I loved him, I loved him every morning, and I continued to love him every night - I didn’t know how not to love him. But everyday, every day that passed he face would-’ The face stopped

And Hyuck knew something was wrong; because every trip he would wonder and he would ask himself, and he would cage himself in his mind going on and on, like circles, like he was running in circles. 

‘First was his smell. The first thing I forgot’ The Soul said ‘I just… I even brought the damn perfume he used but nothing smelled like him. Then was his touches, I couldn't remember how his hand felt on mine, the last thing gone was his smile, and i hated myself, I hated that I couldn’t remember the most special person in my life, but I hated him too, I hated him every day that I spent on living without him’

But not this time, this time his mind was pretty much blank, and all he could do was feel the feelings he didn’t know the name. Feels like he was being ripped apart and putting back together, like he was being tossed and turned, like something was living in his throat. 

‘And then, then I found someone that loved me, everyday - every single day, dusk to dawn, and I hated him even more, because even though someone loved me, I couldn't love someone as much as I loved him. Because I loved him with such a force that I felt breathless, because I loved him in the swings, and I loved him every single day, and I knew he loved me too, he loved me so much that I missed feeling loved, till I found another one to love me, not the way he did, but the way I could handle after him being gone.’

'So' The Soul went on 'I hope he can rest, because he gave me a love so great that the memory I want to take with me is him'

And it hit him,   
that a love so great was in his life too.

🌩

  
Donghyuck felt his head so heavy, like he was spiraling into a black hole, he tried to blink, to speak but his whole body was not responding to anything. It was like all his thoughts were just floating, and floating, and floating and he could not pick one to act upon. ‘Dont’ he heard, or he thought he did, the voice was too far but he heard it. ‘Dont’ the voice said it again, and Hyuck could swear it was Renjun’s, and Donghyuck knew, he felt in his soul, something breaking into tiny little pieces, Rejun’s voice was mixed in the rain and yet Dounghyuck didn’t felt a drop, but he heard it.

He heard the rain against the streets, or it was grass? 

‘Hyuck, please I beg you don’t go’ go? where? he thought but everything was so far, and he just, just kept feeling like he was falling and falling but his body felt so still. 

‘Hyuck please, please don’t leave me alone in this world’ He heard.

But it was so far, so faint, like a brush without enough paint, just grazing over the page without leaving any mars on it.

Like the finest and graceful fingertips he felt on his cheeks, tracing over his birthmarks, over his own constellation of a kind, before everything turned into black. 

🌩

  
Donghyuck finally felt peace, because living between the dead and the living was easy, what was hard, what made it hard, was to think about Rejun without having his inside twisted in guilt. 

But now he realized, when he couldn’t love him, someone else did. And did with such force that Donghyuck finally realized that Rejun wasn’t alone in the world; he wasn't alone during his years on earth. 

And that,   
that was enough for Donghyuck. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone,  
> recently I lost someone very dear to me and this idea jumped in my head and I was like why not make myself even more sad? But I am ok now I guess - I guess the longing and the missing part of rejun is very much inspired by my grief so, yeah.
> 
> ALSO english is not my first language so if you see a mistake, please let me know!


End file.
